His days were pretty much mundane and routine.  Nothing exciting, kept it mostly on an even keel.  He had friends but was still pretty much a loner.  He could go to movies by himself.  Never gave it a second thought to go to a restaurant alone.  Liked riding his motorcycle or going for scenic drives in his car.  He was not dating but would share short phone calls and coffee with women who were his friends, not lovers.  He did not want any physical relationships anymore.  His romantic life was full of disasters, some adultery and at the end he suffered the losses.  His life therefore was more or less going thru the motions.

He would say he was ok but mostly he was drowning and did not know it.

He had a friend he helped a lot.  She was more like a sister or relative.  Did not think of her much but was there for her when ever she needed him.  He was friends with a “brother” he rode with.  One day that “brother” was gone.  Aneurism.  Sudden.  Descending him and her into a longing grief.  He helped her with the struggles of her loss and unwanted emptiness.  The “brother” that died was the husband of the sister like relative, friend he helped.  He helped her because he thought it was duty to this suddenly deceased friend.  This lasted for 5 years.

Then one day he woke up.  He felt……lonely.    “What the hell is this,” he thought, only using stronger language in his head.  I thought I was happy.  No one bothered me and I did not bother anyone.  “What the fig.”  Then he looked up at the person he was taking to.  It was her.  His friend he helped and then the white flash of love encased him.  He was enlightened.  Confused and frightened,  he kept it to himself and now he was really suffering.  His dilemma surfaced.  If I tell her of these new found feelings will I lose her?

He told her.  Their friendship was stronger than he imagined.  She was flattered but still not ready for any kind of relationship. They stayed friends and began to spend more time together.  That was the thing.  They were getting to know each other in a more cerebral way.  Before he confessed his new found feelings  they did not hug when saying goodbye after a visit.   Now they did.  His very long drowning life became more like floating.  He was now accepting more and more of something he had lost long ago some people would call…….feelings.  His death was over now and his life was just beginning anew.

Her days were pretty much mundane and routine…………………………….