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echumlymanka

Monthly Archives: April 2019

50 Shades of Cat

30 Tuesday Apr 2019

Posted by chumlyfelix in Uncategorized

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I think my cat is into some kind of bondage thing. I adopted her when she was on Animal Shelter Death Row. She had 2 days left on the Cat Death Row when I brought her home. She is a old fat cat that wobbles when she walks. She is a marble color black and brown with very soft fur that my Grandpeople like to pet. Her name is Marquita Waddles.

Usually I call her Kitty. My Aunt was called Kitty and for some reason the cat reminds me of her a little. Anyway sometimes when I pet her she bits me. Sometimes a little nip other times a good, got a little blood there, bite. The strange thing she only does it to me. Don’t get me wrong she likes to be petted. She will actually get into my face and give me the, “pet me meow.” She gets on the arm of the couch and puts her nose as close to my face as she can get. Then the complaining to be petted starts. So I pet her. This is good for a few minutes then she begins her nip and biting thing. I just remembered, as I was writing this, she usually wants the petting thing after she plays with her mice on a string.

I tied two small pet store catnip filled stuffed mice on an elastic string. Then I tied it to hang from my hospital like tray I use when snacking and watching TV. This worked until I helped her play with it. Now she will only play with the darn string mice thing if I dangle it near her, She sits under the mice thing and makes a weird cat like crying noise until I begin to dangle it. I guess you can say I am like her human she dominates. I had a red furry thing with googling eyes she played with before this. She managed to rip that off the string and now carries the plastic part in her mouth with the string dragging behind. Maybe she thinks it is her whip. It is strange but it is plastic and she really is into biting plastic. She bites and chews my plastic garbage bags, candy wrappers, bubble wrap, plastic lamp shades, or anything that is remotely like plastic.

Thank you for reading this. If you know of any reason she is like this please let me know. She does not get along with other animals. She once nearly went thru my screen door trying to get a bird or some stray cat that comes around. She is declawed, was declawed when I adopted her, and is smart enough not to go outside. She did not go thru the screen door because she more or less waddle runs and can’t get up a lot of speed.

Enter laughing

26 Friday Apr 2019

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Immediately after the baby was born. The first reaction to life was a smile then what seemed to be giggling. The doctors and nurses were startled and confused at first. Then when they realized what was happening they too began to smile then eventually laughed themselves. Thus proving laughter, and do I dare say, happiness is contagious.

The birth of children laughing is a rare occurrence. Yet. Surprisingly it does happen. God him or her self was smiling and laughing while creating. It was not until later that most babies were born crying due to the shock of life itself. That in itself did not stop some entering the world smiling and giggling.

Now what person in their right mind would be born in this happy manner? Maybe. They truly are the only ones born in their right minds. Who are these people? It is impossible to named them all or to when exactly this occurrence began. Jesus was one due to hearing the donkey immediately after his birth. In this lifetime some born were Will Rogers, never met a man or woman he did not like, he was later quoted as saying. Red Skelton, a comedian that always closed his act saying, God bless. Queen Elizabeth smiled and giggled only once. Immediately she gained her composure went regal and fundamentally cooed. Carol Burnett, a female comedy icon, when the doctor brushed her ear during birth, was another. I am sure there are many more that we will just never know about. Myself being one. To this day I have an urgent need to smile and wave at everyone I meet.

Well. What does all of this mean? I, to be honest, am not sure. It just occasionally happens. Why should it not? The task of living is not easy. There are innumerable challenges, pitfalls, disappointments, and troubles that sting living souls through out our short life spans. Surely then, why should it not be that most are born crying and afraid. Welcoming being born, what makes us we rarely question or acknowledge this phenomena?

The ho hum theory is that only Saints not sinners would be born laughing, smiling or giggling. This is very far from the truth. Anyone can be born in any way that it just happens. It is that strange millisecond of birth that causes this joy, or fear, that will be life.

What is the scientific proof? Absolutely none. Scientists are born to be pretty serious. They would just shrug off this notion of babies giggling and smiling upon experiencing the trauma of birth. The only other thing I can think of is that some inventors came along and invented happy things like ice cream that brought joy to the realm of the living. So you see it is all not perfect sense or a solid argument. It is just an argument not making sense at all. That, my friend, is exactly what it is suppose to be. Not an argument at all. Just a happy smiling giggling thought that some did enter life laughing.

Hey! Listen…

14 Sunday Apr 2019

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Twas the biggest most important speech in the history of the planet. Everyone, I mean everyone attended. All ages, all sexes, all of everyone. It was shown on all the social media platforms, all computers, all cell phones, and anything technological. It was on the TV in all bars, restaurants, medical waiting rooms, classrooms, news media and any place it could be shown and heard. The main problem it was heard by humans. Not just any humans but human beings.

Within minutes of the speech starting bathrooms around the world started to become overcrowded. Mostly old people and those with medical problems associated with trips to the loo. There were monitors in these defecation and urine release areas. Mostly they were peed and pooped on.

Other young people in classrooms just fell asleep and nodded off. While other couples decided coitus was more fun than babbling words of importance.

Then there were the extreme listeners that just plugged their ears with music and tried to lip read. Some read books or texts while attempting to look interested in this world event that would or could change everything.

There may be said that there also is an art to daydreaming. That art does not include listening to anything or anyone around the dreamer. There was no lack of imagination. Just no imagination to the words spoken at all. Not all words were missed. Some words rose into human beings minds that interested them while they echoed and then fell over the cliffs of silence never to be heard again.

To say that no one listened would be a fake false statement. Retaining what was listened to, that only lasted for maybe a few seconds or minutes an hour would have been almost unreasonable.

The whole speech of course was recorded and printed. Here it is in it’s entirety. Just go to http://www.sp……………hey what happened?

Then there was something

07 Sunday Apr 2019

Posted by chumlyfelix in Uncategorized

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Try to figure this out.  In the beginning was a little tiny atom.  This atom was on the eve of creation.  Atom and Eve.  Atom exploded and there it all happens.  Then atom and whatever was left after the explosion evolved into something.  Eventually man came about after a really long while.  Man then had to keep track of things so he invented time.  Before there was really no need for time but man needed to punch a clock.  Now a bunch of men and women started sharing a big round thing with a bunch of plants and animals.  The atoms were there with billions of tiny bacterial and microscopic teeny tiny things man could not see.  Now what?

Crawling out of men and women’s brains came thoughts, theories, that were formed out of their imaginations.  The now humans.  Decided the real stuff was decided because a majority of humans got together and believed in what the largest group of humans believed.  That only lasted until some humans convinced other humans that they were “educated” and they “studied” so they were the only ones who could decide what was theory and then turned their theories into reality.  Which was ok with the majority of humans who were just trying to survive looking for food and shelter. Another time consuming thing humans were also doing was entering each others pleasure holes to make other humans.  Men doing most of the entering with their strange hard muscles under their bellies.

That’s it!

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