Why humour is bad.

Tripping thru the universe of the Internet is far different  than personal conversation.  Take in consideration in the one on one or party group experiences.  Most living entities,  the human kind, try and fail badly at trying to get a laugh or smile.  This occurs after expelling various words that are related  or unrelated.  Then exposed.  These words try to exist in a plausable or intelligent sentences or confusion of words that scuffle to be intelligent.  The end result is making humour bad.

I am guilty of this on various numerous occasions which is beyond counting.  The hardest writing I have ever attempted is sarcasm; basically anything I put on paper or the internet.  Therefore I would like to  apologize if anyone is offended or confused as to  the meaning of my Senior Brain synapses firings.  My younger brain functions as a writer were far much worse and confusing.  Especially waking up with a word hangover the next day.  Not to  mention the alcohol and drug consumption during these expulsions of written verbiages.

Presently the bunch of English letters used to mash up cranial information to pass on to whatever poor reader happens to stumble into my erroniously useage of the English, American and United Kingdom stuff.  Mentioned because of my association and experiences rolled up into my language.  Not to mention the inclusion of Polish, Irish, and German parts of my DNA folded into my entity.

To some extent.  Experiences of all two legged, somewhat souls, grouped together as something called humanity.  In reflection to the above written correspondence to you. I would like to end with.  As to the ideas typed.  Not only does this apply to this one biological blood, water and other organ. Also described as a flesh covered existing miracle of life.  As in regard to who or whom may be included in these ramblings.  Not only can I identify with this reflection of life.  Which are included is the question.

But, are not we all thrown into this arena of thoughts wrapped up in something that is unfolding  second by second.  So who is included to the relation of fictional or non-fictional personal books written?   In terms of making sense.  Are not we all?

Life of the Dice

If life depended on the roll of the Dice then it would be true that human existence depended not on fate but by chance.  According to people that have no idea about anything.  The answer is…Yes!  The first roll is with only one dice that determines your sex.

The .  (1) is female.  The  .. (2) is male.  … (3) is female that thinks the sex is male.  Therefore …. (4) is a male thinking the sex is female.  Then ….. (5) is the female gay roll.  Which leaves …… (6) a Gay male win.  Oddly sometimes the die actually stands on point and the lucky human gets the female and male parts to make that creation.  So you see then it is all scientific.

The next roll is with two (2) die or now dice.  The resulting numerical value determines which part of the earth the human will begin to exist.  The roll to determine color and culture is the third roll.  The combination of number for roll 2 and 3 is difficult to explain so, so much for getting an explanation for that.

Some will argue that Eve was made from Adam’s rib and not a roll of any die or dice.  Well.  If that were true.  Then that would be a story of Biblical proportions.  Although it must be pointed out that is totally wrong.  Since all life comes after a woman carries a bunch of cells for  9 months to end or begin with a birth.  The stronger argument would be that Adam was made from Eve’s rib because woman brings life into the world.  Of course that would be totally ridiculous.  Unless there was a Garden, a bunch of animals plants, fruits and editable stuff for the animals and Adam and Eve to eat.  Plus a stenographer to take down and write up everything that was happening during this beginning of life; or whatever you want to call it, would be needed.  Unfortunately the argument about this not happening is pretty solid because what kind of rib would it take to make up a stenographer anyway.

Ok.  Back to the dice thing.  The die cube is not meant to also mean “die” as in death.  The game of “die” or a 1 cube with the numbers 1 to six that fills 6 sides of the cube.  Was invented by the Alien’s during a very long voyage in  space.  You see.  The Aliens use little six sided cubes to hold together things on their ship like humans use nails, nuts or screws.  If you can grasp that idea.  One day a bored alien put those . (dots) on a cube.  Why?  When any living thing is bored  who knows why they do what they do.  Think of it as the creation of art came from doodling.

Next thing the alien them, die or  dice,  at his fellow aliens, they threw them back and eventually they hit the spaceship walls and one thing lead to another thing then a bunch of other stuff happened and finally the game of die or dice was invented.   So noted also it  took off with humans.  This happened when the first stenographer noticed the aliens tossing the little cubes around.

The birth connection.  On one of these long boring flights other aliens were messing around with little tiny biological things. The idea of test tube life was being played around with.   One of them was unthinkingly holding some dice and upon noticing them.  There was a connection made about numerical what have you and biological what do you have?  That!  Is something which is impossible to explain.  The question, When will Medicare or Medicaid let Doctors prescribe medical marijuana to seniors?   That and if the Veteran Administration will prescribe it to Veterans.  Those questions will be answered far more quicker than why life is determined by a throw of  die and dice.

In conclusion.  The earlier report of the kidnapping of President Donald Trump.  It seems that the President was disguised as Al Fraken’s father after all.  He was undercover trying to get what people thought of his Supreme Court nominee.  One of the White House Staff asked President Trumps wife where he, the President was. In her English way of speaking she answered that he was taking his kid nap.  Which was her way of saying he was taking a nap.  Since he slept like a baby she called it his “kid” nap.  The Press Secretary overheard the” kid nap” and thought it to be “kidnapped”. This fake White House assumption took hold  like they happen from time to time.  When the disguised Donald as, Al Franken Senior,  got wind of this.  He, President Trump, immediately got John Kelly to disguise himself as himself the President.  Then the  disguised President would take the disguised President to the Golf Club.  This worked fine and no one noticed that an aid of John Kelly actually disguised herself to be the disguised President in disguise of someone in a disguise to be someone or whatever.

In the aftermath.  While President Trump, disguised as Al Franken’s Dad, was sitting in the Golf Cub dining room drinking a Diet Coke and watching the news.  He was wondering why the person disguised as him, the President, was making a speech at the UN? (When leaving the Golf Club the disguised President Trump, as President Trump, was picked up then dropped off near the UN, by a group of strange men.)  The upshot was, while watching and hearing the laughter the fake president got at the UN.  The disguised President watching the disguised President on TV did not get the joke either.*



  • If that last part did not make any sense do not watch Fox News.  It will be better explained on CNN.  Also read Lost and UN-Profound written somewhere on this post.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lost and Un-profound

Everybody wants to tell a D. Trump story.  I have the  one about his alleged kidnapping.  That was earlier;  he’s back.  Think of the story is like listening to James Bond music by the National Philharmonic Orchestra.  It isn’t the real  soundtrack but the sound is the same.

It kind of started when a man that looked like Al Franken’s dad was found wandering around the White House.  The staff people, Pages, Congressmen, Secretaries, Senators and other White House employee’s that included the Security People.  These wonders of the Washington Elitist’s, noticed this “Mr. Franken” and just thought he was trying to get his son’s job back. Especially because he kept saying, “Yeah, screw me too.  How about that for a movement.”  Usually he was exiting or near a bathroom facility when the rant’s occurred.  No.  It was not the Trumpman in disguise.  He actually was kidnapped but soon released because the kidnappers just realized what the hell was the point.  Also the fact they got tired of hearing him tell them how great Donald Trump was.

So there you have the Donald Trump Kidnapping story.  Really not much to tell.  The kidnappers ended up paying the ransom.  A diet coke they beat out of a White House Soda machine.  You really don’t think the kidnappers would pay for the coke by going to the White House Cafeteria located behind the press room.  No.  They got the coke unethically.

The whole incident took about  forty five minutes to an hour.  Then the “Donald” ran into the man resembling  Al Franken’s dad and they ended up going golfing until lunch.  After that the un-missing president took a nap then got some ice cream and called it a day.

That is the story.  Except Kelly A. Conway ran into the two new pals and drove them to the golf course.  That got Kelly’s husband mad and they did not talk to each other for the rest of the afternoon.  They usually make up pretty quick.  Kelly’s husband is no dummy he knows she has a good job and tries not to make waves.  Just ripples once in awhile.

Eye of the Storm

Hurricanes, tornado’s, flash floods and other disasters we watch on TV’s news can be devastating.  I live in NC and was watching the updates on flooding when I noticed a thick white smoke coming over me.  While watching the news I forgot I had a pan of oil on pre-heating some breaded shrimp I was about to cook.  I grabbed the flaming pan and burned my hand.  Put the pan on the floor, opened the back screen door, picked up the pan again and chucked it out the door way.  It ended up in my back yard, which had about 1/4″ puddle there.  The pan burned for another 10 to 15 minutes before it ran out of oil.  It was canola oil and I must say it catches on fire quick and burns a while, so I recommend it for quick heating up but also quick fires.

My home was full of smoke but  over head fans and open doors helped the smoke go out of the house quickly.  The smoke alarm was ringing for a long time.  I could not get at it but it eventually it went off when the smoke cleared a lot.  Meanwhile my old cat hid behind the couch and would not move.  I had to abandon her and was trying all I could to get her to come out of the smoky filled living room.  Finally after almost 90% of the smoke cleared she finally emerged from her hiding place and seemed ok.  Instead of running out the door to get outside she ran to another room.  It is a  day later and she is fine and seems healthier then she was before the fire.  I wonder if she is smoking something when I leave her alone in the house.

No real damage to the house.  A little burn mark on my floor, not too noticeable; must have fire proof floor.  I just moved into the home and did not put in the floor so I am not sure what happened there.  Melted the light above the oven a bit, but can be replaced.  My house smells a lot like canola oil, which is an improvement because it now hides the smell of the cat litter pan.  There is a round burned out patch of grass where the pan landed and the water disappeared  fast after it stopped raining.

So beware when you are in a potential flood or disaster.    Pay attention and not make a disaster during a disaster by paying too much attention on the disaster happening than the disaster that happens when watching a disaster unfold.  If you have a cat and smoke.  I would also count your cigarettes from time to time to make sure the cat is not stealing one or two from time to time.  Oh!  Hide your cigarette lighters too.  I just noticed a few of mine are missing.

Thank you.  I feel it was my civic duty to write this and warn people in distressful situations.

 

 

Turning music into Reality.

I was enjoying music of Jefferson Airplane playing “White Rabbit” while relaxing on my front porch.  After the song ended a few minutes later 2 white albino rabbits showed up to eat some clover in my yard.

I was listening to Pink Floyd sing that song about money and won some money on a scratch off lottery ticket.

I was in my VW Beetle and singing along with “Born to be Wild” when all of a sudden a gathering of motorcycles passed me by.

Me and my gal were coming home from a night out when “The first time” quietly set up a romantic mood between us.  Resulting in moonlight and stars.

Just moved to NC and driving and dancing in my head to “Johnny Be Good” I turned a corner to drive into a Jazz and Blues Festival.

Out in my yard mowing the lawn, “Amazing Grace” playing on my earbuds, a funeral procession slowly drove past my spiritual thoughts.

Found an ol’ CD with the song. “Stoned Cowboy”.  Don’t remember much after playing that one.  Can’t even remember the name of the band or where I put the CD.

 

Memories firing

I am sitting here and all of a sudden my synaptic memory brain things begin firing and a memory appears.  In this memory I am a very young child in a store.  I am with my sisters and they give me this wind up toy.  My next memory  is I am in my back yard playing with my toy that is in a big steel bucket full of water.  I am laughing and enjoying all the splashing the toy’s flailing around in the water is making.

Skip to next memory and I am crying.  My sister is scolding me saying, “Its not a water toy stupid!”

Another memory fires and I am sitting with my sister and she is reading me a story about a cow, the moon and a spoon.  Somehow, why I am not sure, the cow jumps over the moon.  I cannot remember what the spoon did or why it was in the story.  Anyway.  I am excited about this feat the cow did.   My firing memory recalls that I asked my, older wiser sister, if cow can really jump over the moon?  Her  humorously reply was, “No it is just a silly story.”

My next memory pops up with me sitting on a hugh boulder jutting over a river.  There are millions if not billions of stars in the night sky.  Most importantly is that the moon is full and it looks like it is floating on the water.  A reflective memory to be sure also flowed thru my head that I had taken LSD earlier.

Slowly the story of the cow the moon and the spoon began to take shape in my  memory.  I memory myself standing up walking backwards.  Firing my memory at the same time, I also was judging how far the moon was in the sky.   My memory also had me measuring the distance from the rock to the moon floating on the water.  With all the enthusiasm  I could joyfully muster I, jumping like Peter Pan on Fairy dust.  I soar up and over the moon floating on the water.  I curl up hugging my self as I descend and cannonball land in shallow soft muddy river bottom water.  I felt pure in an enthusiastic euphoric spirit lifting way.  I had achieved what the cow could not.  I had jumped over the moon as it floated on the river.

I never did this again.  Maybe because I got sober and gave up drugs and alcohol.  Maybe because………..I gave up drugs and alcohol.  So I must relate do not try this at home.  Getting a boulder and getting a river to flow through your home is a tough thing to do.  Maybe!  One day if you and I sitting on a boulder jutting over a river.  If we are observing the  moon floating on the water.  Well!  Who knows what sober people are capable of doing in that situation.  Or for that matter a sober cow.

Literal Reality based on Fiction.

Humans are always looking for truth that is solid and non-wavering. A purpose or ideal idea that can be grasped and held unwavering as it is held up to uncompromising certainty. Which may bring words to be overused and inaccurately spoken without malice as forethought may be lacking in its distribution.
Things, events, moments that are insured to us in life exists. The question as to what the birth of that existence might be can be sensed as illusion related to disillusion. In the same nonsense where sense orbits around and teases human mental existences’. One can only transport thoughts in never ending synaptic movements based on normal or paranormal circumstances. Whatever. There is a veil that wavers for humans or their use. As “their” existence being question or questioned fall into the pit of questionability. All will uncover what covers the infinite infinity by rolling eternal dice that refused to stand still to reveal a numeral possibility ending the outcome.
What does this all mean can result in a mean or happy solution. Future investigation can be stalled or continued as whatever the human mind renders momentarily in a thinking mode.
Musical chairs of thought endlessly play inside chemical processes rendered invisible to the inexhaustible study of mirrors mirroring a mirror. What is to be seen? What is to be imagined? What is to be held up to what?
In the vast cosmos there is space. Between space are spaces that exist between the smallest particles that open up space for spaces. This scientific approach is unscientific and is placed somewhere where time can be swallowed by one human creating unquenchable thirst for another.
The answer to these questions can be idealized or forgotten. What was Timmy doing at the well? Why was Timmy attracted to the well? Did Lassie try to warn Timmy? Lassie was motivated only after Timmy fell into the well. Was Timmy in the well because Lassie accidently or maliciously provided Timmy ‘s entrance into the well? After reading this will all, part or none of it remain inside the readers brain? Or will the words, “Scan This!” be once again read on a red woman’s liberated T-shirt?

 

Suppressions of Expressions.

Observing some observations . I came across this little thought nugget. Recently a good friend of mine made a mistake and brought home a pizza that was carried upside down. It was not a frozen pizza but a pizzeria pizza made by a pizza professional. It was also not a returnable pizza. Which some pizza places advertise they will replace if one does not know how to carry a pizza safely to his/her home. Since this person was on the top of my good friend list we had a good laugh and joked about the topsy turvey delivered pizza.
A number of days passed and someone I am not very fond of. This person is not a noted friend but more of an irritation. Somewhat like an unwanted itch that constantly needs to be scratched because of its bothersome existence. This poor excuse of I person, that I negatively carry in my head.  Had also brought home a pizza. Also not being properly educated in the carrying and delivering of pizza. This delectable meal was carried sideways like a book under the deliverers arm. Needless to say there was a cheese slide occurring in the pizza box. Instead of the laughable reaction there was more of a catastrophic response. A harsh and colorful negative wording of the situation concerning the pizza delivered.
What I observed in my observance. The good friend pizza situation was more positively accepted. The unacceptable friend was more likely to be criticized and harshly unrewarded.
Confronted with this. I was dismayed at my different reactions. We are all equal in the great Creators eyes. From childhood to birth we are taught to treat all equally. Yet! Human errors of judgement and morals sometimes pop up like brain pimples.
Enlightened by this. I have reasoned and concluded for delivered pizza in the future. I will leave it up to the professional pizza deliverer rather than personal relationships deliverer which effects the delivery to the deliverer.

 

I didn’t do it!

Why  do humans need to have Aliens come to Earth from other Planets?  Simply  because humans are always trying to blame someone or something else for mistakes and need outer space visitors for blaming stuff humans cannot explain.   The Theory of “I didn’t do it,” ranks right up there with String Theory, e=mc2, and if Hitler did escape from Germany he is definitely dead now.

This may seem to bother the Aliens from Space but frankly they do not give a President Trump, or Democrat Party.

Like the line above nothing humans do make sense to our out of space neighbors.  Plus there are no Boarder Guards in outer space.  Anyone ever see a earth check point satellite out there or check point space station?  Of course not.  Therefore outer space beings have a free reign to anyplace on Earth.

Why don’t we see Space people a lot?  If you can imagine what we perceive them to look like the answer is, “like hey duh!”   They have light bulb heads, big black eyes, very little specks of nose and little or no mouth.  Weird big belly like bodies with thin legs and arms with less than 5 fingers.  If kids are made fun of when they enter kindergarten because they have freckles, red hair or have a mental of physical deformity and are fodder for bullies.  Please imagine the bulling the outer space aliens would get right off the bat.  If not hit with a bat.  Note I am not making fun of freckles, mental or physical deformities but just pointing out the inhuman nature of early onset of a childlike humans.  Which sometimes is grown out of  and sometimes not grown out of humans as they age.

Then there is the modern thought process.  If we cannot build those pyramids or make precise cuts in stone walls.  Then it has to be aliens.  This is just modern man  saying that  earlier humans can never be  smarter then present modern man.

Let us not forget Alien implants.  Todays UFO experts firmly believe humans are taken up by Aliens.  The Aliens do medical experimentations, fiddle about human special parts and poke around in human brains.  Then like a scientist tracking a monkey in Africa the Aliens put implants in humans to keep track of them.  This is not even close.

Consider flying around in a space craft.  There is going to  be some kinds of garbage that eventually will have to be ejected into space from the space ship.   Aliens have a contraption that reduces all their garbage into a sort of dust like form.  Including old electronics that become useless.   These particles are like bottles thrown in the ocean.  They float around and some end up getting gravity pulled into various planets after years and eons being in space.  They fall into these planets like in a dust like meteor shower and sometime are ingested by humans.  This is done when the space garbage dust gets into fruits and vegetables,  wheat, barley and animals which is then ingested by humans.  Since beer is made from some of this stuff the percentage of ending up in a human is raised.

If an Alien wants to really track a human they need something like a tag that is put on a fish or animal or a collar.   They aliens came up with an invention called, “sneaker.” The aliens provided humans with the sneaker invention thru telepathy implanting the invention into a human mind.  The materials in sneakers have an outer space material that serves as a undiscoverable tracking devise.  The sneakers that light up when walking is an advanced tracking device.  Pierced earrings also are a tracking device of the aliens made up of material that humans cannot detect.  These are just some examples computers and other electronic devices are being used more and more.  In the future cell phones will replace the sneaker.

How do I know all this?  I was born in 1952.  There was an explosion of sightings that year and my mother and family would always tell me I could not be a part of this earth. What gave me away?  Not sure but everyone I meet seems to think I am different and think differently then them.  Which is different than being normally indifferent to undifferent ways of an existing as different.  Which is definitely outer space alien thinking!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mom. Why does God let good things happen?

God is always getting blamed for doing bad things. God is always responsible for floods, death, bad weather and terrible leaders. Once in awhile God does good things. Nobody remembers because bad things make better action games and movies.
That being said. I saw on the internet that a homeless man was asked to leave a McDonalds Fast, kinda food place. As he was leaving I noticed he had food and fries with his meal. Which confused me because as long as one gets fries isn’t that a good thing?
A long time ago African Americans were protesting a lunch counter down south. That was a good thing. Unfortunately their protest did not include “homeless people.” Thus McDonalds was justified in calling the police. If one homeless man ate there than tomorrow there would be 2 and who knows how many after that. Fries are meant for people that live in homes and drive cars. Plus if ” The homeless” get food from McDonalds and cannot finish their meal on the streets; they have no garbage can to trash left over fries.
So! Wake up people and support McDonalds ban on Homeless People eating in their Fast Food Churches. Please do not get me started on Handicapped Homeless People. Also, I think those stolen shopping carts they use should be inspected every year. Shopping Carts should be registered just like any vehicle that can be pushed, pulled or whatever it takes to move them. Shopping Cart insurance should be mandatory because I am sure there have been Shopping Cart accidents.
Thank you McDonalds for making sure sub humans are not allowed in High class facilities like yours. Those Golden Arches do not represent the bent over backside of civilization. Which if one looks at it from a certain view…….

No, no, no! You McDonalds an us. We must stick together to make America Great Again.